Sunday, February 9, 2014

Understanding Me

I have always had a strong desire to understand and love myself deeply.  Trying new things, focusing on opening my mind, and reading a variety of books have helped me to explore different parts of who I am.  I love using every ounce of every minute of every day.  It seems that I have a daily quantity of energy and in order to sleep well, the empty light of my energy tank must be on.

As a 10-year-old, I remember asking my Oma about my family tree.  I wanted to know everything about her life in Germany as a Hitler youth.  I wanted to know about her parents, about her grandparents, and I wanted to understand her.  She avoided my direct questions and didn't reveal much about her life in Germany.  Now that I know some of the things she went through, I understand why she wanted to leave that part of her life in the past.

Tonight we went through some photos we found at Oma's house.  We are looking for clues about what made her "her".  We want to know her deeply.  We want to know her victories and her struggles. Surprisingly, this journey to understand our Oma is actually helping us understand ourselves.

When I look at this photo of my Oma, I can see so much of my physical self.  I have the same straight, strong nose and the same smile shape.  I have thick eyebrows.

We went through more photos and found a picture of her with a little crochet shop (see Ace's shop here).  In another photo, she was reading in the Black Forest and the caption said reading was her favorite pastime (see my Goodread's account here).  We found that she loves to garden (so do we).

She was a strong woman who was misunderstood.  She loved as deeply as she could and never complained about her circumstances.  There are obvious things that we like because our Oma liked them (crochet, reading, gardening) and there are traits we want to develop because we've seen them in our Oma.  Trying to understand her has been the most rewarding method of self-discovery.

Tuesday, January 28, 2014

Mental Bed Sores

I've been sitting in this chair for 7 days.  I'm getting 5-star care and I get out at least once per day.  My mom brings me fruits and veggies throughout the day and brings meals made-to-order.  I couldn't be happier about hanging out with my mom all day (except when she's working!).  The older you get, the less one-on-one time you get with your parents.

Today I needed a ride to therapy, the garbage from my mail fell on the floor, and I pulled off the shower curtain and rod.  I want to lay on my side and bend my knees.  And mostly...I want to walk to the bathroom without a huge production.

Wednesday, January 22, 2014

ACL Repair | Contains a sentence about barf

It is 6:30 am the morning after my surgery and I'm wide awake because...who sleeps after surgery?  I stayed up most of the night and watched two tennis matches and wished I would've contracted with AP to write stories on the Australian Open.

Surgeries were running 45 minutes behind, so surgery started at 3 pm.  Dr. Higginbotham talked to my parents and after surgery said everything went great.  The ACL repair went as planned but the MCL tear was more difficult to repair than he was thinking it would be.  Today, I am definitely more sore behind my knee than anywhere else.

I felt pretty good in the recovery room.  The nurse was so sweet and helped me eat a few ice chips.  They put something down my throat because it felt like it had been expanded.  There was another person groaning in the recovery room.  He must have been in some serious pain because it was so loud and constant that I couldn't focus on the tasks I needed to complete so I could see my parents! I finally got to my room and tried to sleep off the meds.  Falling asleep made my breathing slow and my oxygen levels dropped.  The machine kept beeping when the oxygen levels dropped and I couldn't sleep.  Coming out of anesthesia for my last two leg surgeries contained lots of uncomfortable nausea (also barf) but I felt really good this time.

And then the moment came to go home.  Sitting up was a small problem! (see below) I sniffed rubbing alcohol pads (didn't know this was a cure fore nausea) and lavender/vanilla sniffy things.  

Each time I sat up I got more nauseated.   I was in recovery for 3 hours and I was the very last one to leave!  People that had surgeries after me left before me.  The nurses told me to have my surgeries earlier in the day from now on!  I finally just decided to puke so I could go home.  So I did that and went home 30 minutes later.

I'm hoping I can sleep today, but I'm still wide awake!  So far, I've lost my insurance card (my dad had to pay full price for my meds!), dumped my apples and crackers on my mom's floor and changed seats 3 times.  I bet she's hoping I sleep most of the day too!

Thursday, January 2, 2014

Arizona | Buffalo Wild Wings Bowl

What is the best way to end a year?  A road trip to sunny Arizona.  I added four more stamps to my national parks collection along the way.

This place was incredible.  Anasazi and Sinagua indians lived in these pueblos during the 12th and 13th centuries.  When Sunset Volcano (see below) exploded, the indians who lived here had to leave because the land became infertile.  

On Saturday, we had a great lunch at the Brat Hous.  I had schnitzel and spaetzel. Marc had a brat and garlic fries. 
Marc's favorite football team played in the Buffalo Wild Wings bowl in Tempe.  The game was crummy and Michigan lost, but the warm-ups were great!  The players were catching passes and running really fast.

We left Phoenix at 5 am and got home about 6 pm.  Here's to many more road trips in 2014!

Monday, December 16, 2013

Birthday Trip 2013

Drove to Casper


Devil's Tower


Crazy Horse - Alvin

Sylvan Lake

Alpine Inn, Birthday dinner

Badlands - Notch Hike